Avoiding It Only Makes It Worse
by Teresia Smith
Dealing with sexual assault can feel a lot like getting a splinter. If you’ve ever had one, you know the instinct: don’t touch it, just cover it up and hope it goes away. But hiding it doesn’t help. The splinter still hurts, and if left alone, it can get worse.
Sexual assault, harassment, abuse and coercion are similar. These experiences leave invisible wounds that cause pain, fear, shame and anxiety.
And just like a splinter, the longer it’s left unaddressed, the more it can affect daily life. The things that linger such as the guilt, the fear, and the flashbacks are often what keeps survivors from moving forward.
But just like a splinter, sometimes you need to face it head-on to start healing.
Many survivors ask, “Why think about it or talk about it? Nothing can change what happened.”
That’s true. You can’t undo the past. But it’s not the event itself that keeps hurting. It’s what lingers afterward.
Unspoken thoughts and feelings, guilt, and fear can hold people back for years. Our brains try to make sense of trauma, sometimes in harmful ways. Survivors may blame themselves, thinking they should have done something differently. Society doesn’t make it any easier.
How often do we hear, “What were you wearing”, “Why were you there”, “Move on. Don’t dwell on it”?
These messages encourage avoidance and research shows avoidance actually makes trauma symptoms worse.
The best way to heal is to face the pain in a safe, supportive space. That’s where we can help. At Crisis Services of North Alabama, we are here to offer confidential, trauma-informed support.
We provide information, crisis counseling, support, advocacy and referrals to other services that can help survivors begin to heal.
Many people don’t know we exist until they need us. If you know someone who has experienced sexual harassment, abuse, or assault, share our information.
Helping survivors take the first step toward support is a step toward healing, for them and for the community.
You can reach our Jackson County office at 256-574-5826 or call our 24/7 HELPline at 256-716-1000.
Let’s stop avoiding the conversation and start helping the wounds heal. Reach out. You are not alone.
