Awareness Is Not Enough
by Teresia Smith
Every October, we are reminded that domestic violence is not somebody else’s problem.
It happens in every community. It crosses lines of age, income, race, religion, nationality, gender and sexual orientation.
It can happen in the house next door, in a family we know, or behind the closed doors of a home that looks perfectly ordinary from the outside.
October has been recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month since 1987.
For decades, advocates have used the month to educate the public, support survivors and give a voice to people who have been silenced by abuse.
That work matters. But after nearly four decades of awareness campaigns, laws, restraining orders and public education, it is fair to ask a difficult question.
Is awareness enough?
Domestic violence is about far more than physical violence.
It often involves a pattern of intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, manipulation and control.
Physical injuries may eventually heal, but the psychological damage can last much longer.
Children who grow up around domestic violence can carry the effects into their emotional, social and academic lives.
And sometimes the consequences are permanent.
People are still killed by intimate partners.
Restraining orders are still sought and sometimes violated.
Families can spend years in court.
Children can become caught in custody disputes where an abusive parent continues to exercise control through them.
We have made progress.
But the continued existence of these problems tells us that something is missing.
That something is accountability.
There is an important distinction between helping a victim escape an abusive relationship and stopping the person who committed the abuse from doing it again.
When we help a survivor find safety, housing, counseling, financial stability and a path forward, we create an opportunity for that person to rebuild a life.
Many survivors eventually become some of the strongest advocates for others because they understand, firsthand, how difficult that journey can be.
But what happens when the survivor gets away and the person responsible faces little or no meaningful consequence?
Too often, the story doesn’t necessarily end. The perpetrator may simply find another victim.
That is why I believe our conversations about domestic violence have to include more than the word awareness.
We need to talk about prevention, intervention and accountability.
One statistic cited in an analysis published by DomesticShelters.org is particularly troubling: in a review of 517 domestic violence cases, only 10 offenders received jail time. That is roughly 2 percent.
That number should make us stop and think.
Not because incarceration is the answer to every case, but because it raises a larger question about what happens after an accusation or protective order.
What systems exist to document patterns of abusive behavior?
What consequences exist when someone repeatedly violates court orders?
How do we protect victims while also ensuring that credible allegations are taken seriously and that proven offenders are held accountable?
Those are not easy questions.
And accountability does not necessarily have to mean putting every offender into an already strained prison system.
There can be room for interventions that address behavior, impose meaningful consequences, monitor compliance and prioritize victim safety.
But there has to be something.
Because at the end of the day, a restraining order is a piece of paper.
A law is a tool.
A public-awareness campaign is a message.
None of them, by themselves, can guarantee that an abusive person will stop.
Domestic violence also carries an enormous cost beyond the immediate harm to victims and families.
It affects health care, law enforcement, courts, workplaces, schools and communities. The financial cost is significant, but the human cost is impossible to calculate.
And children pay a price, too.
A child does not have to be physically struck to be harmed by domestic violence.
Living with fear, instability and violence can change the way a child understands relationships and safety.
The effects can follow that child well into adulthood.
So, as we observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October, perhaps we should broaden the conversation.
Let’s continue educating people about the warning signs.
Let’s continue supporting shelters and survivors.
Let’s continue teaching young people what healthy relationships look like.
But let’s also ask what happens after the awareness ribbon comes down.
Who is making sure the victim is safe?
Who is making sure court orders are taken seriously?
Who is documenting patterns of behavior?
Who is making sure children are protected?
And perhaps most importantly, what are we doing to prevent the person who caused the harm from simply repeating the same behavior with someone else?
Awareness shines a light on the problem.
But shining a light on a problem is not the same thing as solving it.
If we truly want to break the cycle of domestic violence, we have to be willing to look beyond the victim and ask what happens to the person committing the abuse.
Survivors deserve more than our sympathy.
They deserve safety, support and the opportunity to rebuild.
And the people who abuse them deserve something, too. Accountability.
Because until we address both sides of the cycle, we may continue talking about domestic violence every October while too many people continue living with it every day.
